Get Your Family to Do Something Crazy & Podcast

5 Ways to Build Quality Family Life 

Most people presume everyone’s family life resembles their own. That’s not quite the case. For instance, everyone’s idea of do something crazy may be a bit different.

When our oldest son, Russell, graduated from high school in Craigmont, Idaho, we invited the senior class of twenty-six students to come to church. Then, we served lunch after at our place. I remember listening to a conversation in the kitchen. Russ and friend, Billy, gathered around the punch bowl and cookies. These two big guys were both the offensive and defensive line for the local 8-man football team.

Billy looked around. “Russ, is your dad a real preacher?” Then, he added, “Your family is a zoo!”

I wondered what he meant by that. Then, I peered around too. A lot of noise emanated from a downhill skiing video game coming from son Mike’s downstairs bedroom. About eight kids screamed and yelled, rooting for each other. Next door in Russell’s room a home stereo blared and boomed.

Crazy Wilderness Golf

The most noise came from the living room where some teen girls leg wrestled on the floor. And the rest of the class played wilderness golf outside. We owned several lots in the city limits of Winchester, Idaho sprawled with lots of Ponderosa pine trees and wild rose bushes. I had cleared three-foot circles in the brush and dug a little hole in the clay where I stuck in a flag. Each kid had a golf club and plastic golf ball.

In wilderness golf, you play every shot down. You don’t touch the ball whether it’s in a tree or a bush or a jack rabbit sits on it. So, the participants yelled and screamed out there while hitting golf balls all over the forest. Billy viewed all this and couldn’t believe this happened in a pastor’s family. In some folks’ minds, doing the right, godly, biblical thing doesn’t equate with having fun. They presume Christian life must be very austere and boring or you’re unbiblical to have some fun.

5 Principles for Quality Family Life 

These include fun ideas to implement them. Here’s some biblical ways for your family to do something crazy.

1.) Work to build intimacy.

Genesis 2:24, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife.” What are some obstacles to intimacy, that is, time together?

• TV

This isn’t a campaign to throw it out. But the best of all TV shows has a tendency to destroy intimacy. It’s not time together. A woman came in for counseling for her marriage. She said, “The only two things my husband ever says to me are, ‘What’s on?’ and ‘Move over!’”

• Missed Meals

Years ago, the family tradition meant almost every meal together. It’s a time for potential building intimacy, to share and talk. The closest thing you do with friends is to invite them over for a meal. That strengthens friendship and family life too.

• Out-of-control Schedules

Mom, Dad, and the kids—everyone seems to be busy. After school and evening activities with no purpose, priority, or planning. They seem to explode.

• Skipped Vacations

Vacations are a necessity for family life, a time to get away together. Jesus said in Mark 6:31, “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest awhile.”

At a Chicago show Prime Time America with Jim Warren live in the studio, I said, “Jim, where’d you take your family for vacation this year?” He replied, “We decided to stay home and paint the house this year.” “Your kids decided to stay home?” I asked. “Well, no, not the kids. The wife and I decided.” Let the paint peel. It won’t matter in the long run of life. But that time you missed to be together as a family will. 

Fun Ways to Build Intimacy

Our family likes to do Family Olympics. This can be done outdoors or indoors and includes a wide variety of ages. Each family member chooses a game, which he or she likes and thinks they can win. For instance, when we’re camping, it might be pinecone toss, archery, boat races in the creek, or foot races around the campground. Each game participant receives points according to winner and other ranking. Then, first, second, and third place must stand on a stool, chair, or log and sing a personal Olympic anthem song for the others. I always choose “Home on the Range” for my Olympics song. It moves me to tears every time.

Family Awards Night

We also give one another awards, like they do for singers and actors. We borrow a music stand, get a Christmas tree spotlight, encourage everyone to dress up a bit, and prepare for everyone in attendance some special award. Making a big deal out of it, we have a presentation. We announce the category, rip open the envelope, and announce the winner. Then the winner comes up to make an acceptance speech.

Some of our awards include Best Dressed Bly Award, daughter-in-law, Michelle; Bly School Teacher of the Year, daughter-in-law, Lois; Salesman of the Year to son Russell; Fastest Riding Bicycle Thru Flowers Award to son Aaron; Wrong Turn Award to Mrs. Bly, who tends to head to Lewiston and end up in Montana; and for the 17^th year, the Roy Rogers Look Alike Award to me.

2.) Work to Build Privacy.

We need intimacy together but also time apart. Some need privacy more than others. The number one person in America who should have time by themselves is a mother of pre-school children. Also, those in crisis jobs where you’re intensely involved with other people. Like doctors, medical care professionals, counsellors, pastors. You could name others. For instance, all kids in large families need extra special privacy, especially teens 13-18.

So, how can any of these find time alone?

When my wife Janet got that glazed look in her eyes when tending to a preschooler, I told her to take a day off. She took a bunch of tapes and books to a mountain side by a lake to spend hours thinking, looking at sail boats, praying and enjoying the scenery. Then when she got hungry, she came down the mountain to a restaurant. When she walked in, she got a strange feeling. When she sat down, she realized it was the first time in her life she’d ever gone into a restaurant by herself.

She also discovered how much she missed me when she couldn’t figure out what to choose on the menu. I always help her with those crucial decisions. It was after dark when she returned home. She told me, “Every woman needs an opportunity to go away and be by herself.”

Dads Need Time Alone

For me, getting away means getting out in the boonies to a remote place. There are times when the city of Winchester with 260 people seems awfully crowded. So, I take a sleeping bag and take off into the wilderness for a while. There’s a place near Manhattan where I like to go. In Nevada, there’s this mining ghost town that boasts three people. You go halfway between Manhattan and the old Belmont courthouse out in a cow pasture. I park my rig and climb a hill there where I can look 100-150 miles in every direction, and I can’t see anything that man made. No paved roads, telephone poles, fenceposts, or farmhouses. That’s my do something somewhat crazy time.

Children Need Time Alone

One time our youngest son, Aaron, about five-years-old, taped a note on his bedroom door, “This is my day off! Do not disturb!” We got to thinking about it. Yes, he should have some time of privacy. But how does that work for a little one? We felt uncomfortable with the door closed for a long time. We headed to the dime store and bought a plastic sign. One side reads Open and the other side, Closed. We put that on his doorknob, and it stayed for about five years. Anytime he turned the Closed side, we didn’t come in. In Aaron’s case, he rarely turned it to Closed but he liked having it there because he knew he could.

3.) Work to Build Affirmation

1 Corinthians 13:6,7, “Love bears all things and believes all things. Love hopes all things and endures all things. And love never fails.” That’s what affirmation’s all about. You and I and everyone in our family needs someone who treats us that way. Affirmation recognizes each one’s worth and importance to the whole family. 

Our do something crazy affirming forms a very simple act in our family. We give standing ovations. If we sit at the dinner table and Aaron and I look at each other and decide this is one great meal, we stand and clap. If Aaron comes home with a good report on one of his activities, his parents greet him with a standing ovation.

Huge Road Trip

Sometimes the affirmation is a little more complex. When Jan and I travel on the road to conferences, Aaron often gets left at home. During his fourth-grade year, we wanted to provide something extra special for him. His class began to study Idaho history and we’d just moved here from California. We knew a lot about California history but little or nothing about Idaho’s. We decided as a family project to explore the state of Idaho. He could see and experience the places where he read about facts and dates. We took photos of Aaron at every county courthouse. His report even got a feature in the local Lewiston Morning Tribune newspaper. He also became a participant in a state history contest in Boise because of this. And that became a wonderful memory for our whole family.

A Crazy Welcome

As a college freshman, our son, Michael, attended Seattle Pacific. At the time, we lived in southern California. I drove him to Seattle to help him get settled in the dorm. At Thanksgiving, we couldn’t afford to fly him home. So, he waited to the end of the semester during Christmas break. A long time away from family.

We met him at the Hollywood Burbank airport with a twenty-foot banner, “Welcome Home, Michael!” And on the way we loaded up two carloads of kids from the church youth group. We also borrowed a big video camera with a battery pack and light, even though we didn’t have any video tape. I also grabbed a microphone without a cord. Our son, Russell, joined us, along with a bunch of mostly girls.

Plane Arrival

Pretty soon the Alaska Airlines plane arrived. As Mike strolled into the terminal, we quickly strung the banner across. Then all the girls started to chant, “There he is! There he is! Michael! Michael!” I rushed up to Mike, who had on his dark glasses, with the video battery pack and flipped on the light. His brother held up the mic. “Michael, welcome home from your world tour!”

Michael picked up on it and strutted forward. And people all around were saying, “Who is that?” “Do you know that guy?” And I just know a lot proclaimed at home, “You won’t believe who we saw at the airport! We saw that Michael! You know, that Michael …”

4.) Work to Build Accountability   

Genesis 4:9, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The implication? Yes, indeed. Brother to brother. Child to parent. And parent to child. But accountability doesn’t just happen.

We do this through Family Council meetings. We started them in 1977 concerning Saturday chores, how they were to be done. And from that first council meeting, we developed rules. We’d elect officers each time and everyone would have a position. I usually got voted President and Vice-President oversaw refreshments. The secretary wrote the notes and treasurer handled any money necessary for that meeting. We could talk about anything in these meetings. And anyone could call a family council for any reason. However, Dad did hold veto power.

The kids could let us know when they didn’t like the rules, regulations, or punishments. Or we made decisions where we’d go on vacation. Or what we should do as far as a move or ministry changes. We made sure the family unanimously agreed first.

Something Crazy Bloopers

We stumbled across another incident of family accountability too. One time we watched one of those ‘blooper’ shows, such as America’s Funniest Home Videos. And we said to ourselves, too bad we didn’t have a video camera because we had enough bloopers for a whole show. We decided instead to have Blooper Night. We pantomimed another member of the family in some humorous situation. The others had to guess who and what.

One time Russ did his brother, Michael, who got a Christmas present from his grandmother. He didn’t want to write a thank you note, so he asked me if he could give her a call instead. So, he called Janet’s mom. “Hello, Grandma, this is Mike.” He thanked her for the present and chatted several minutes about some other things. Then, suddenly, he said, “Oh!” and he hung up. He said, “It was the wrong woman!” He’d dialed the wrong number, but this lady had a grandson named Mike. So, it took a while for her to realize the mistake. After that, Mike wrote all his thank you notes.

At someone else’s turn, they pantomimed Janet. One time the smoke alarm went off when she was cooking. In panic, she rushed down the street with the smoking frying pan. All the neighbors were saying, “There’s the pastor’s wife running down the street.”

Dad’s Crazy Meltdown

Then Michael did a very good pantomime of me. We headed to Idaho for vacation and got to about Burns, Oregon. After driving along in the old Suburban, I realized about an hour out of town, I didn’t roll up the back window. I pulled up and looked back there and discovered a missing brown Samsonite suitcase that belonged to Aaron, our five-year-old. It had fallen out. Every stitch of clothing he owned was gone. Fortunately, his blanky was not in the suitcase. We turned out, creeping back to look for the suitcase. Didn’t find it alongside the road, so reported to the police department.

We turned back around and I’m furious with myself. I can’t believe I did such a stupid thing. I’m spending a lot of time driving up and down the road searching. Finally, my five-year-old says, “Dad, you know, we ought to pray about this.” I said, “Gee, I should have thought about that.” So, we prayed the Lord would bring back his suitcase and then rode on to our destination.

All New Clothes

We arrived at Lewiston and went to J. C. Penney’s and bought the kid a whole new wardrobe. You ladies might want to try this. It might work although risky. The fun part happened a few weeks after we returned home from vacation. We received a call from Abe’s Market, the Greyhound Bus Depot. His found suitcase arrived. When we picked it up, Aaron shouted in the crowded market, “The Lord brought back my suitcase!”

Meanwhile, Mike mimicked my behavior during that day. Everyone in the family rolled with laughter and tears. And I’m thinking, “Oh, man, did I really act like that?” I lost more than a suitcase that day. Michael held me accountable for my actions in the midst of fun. He said, “Dad, you blew it!”

5.) Build Spirituality

Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” One reason I love that passage. Joshua made a decision to find a way for the whole family to serve the Lord. As parents, we should find ways we can serve Him together.

That can be a ministry. We have friends with six children who live on Christmas Tree Lane in the city of Ventura, California. Every house on the street decorates for the season. Our friends portray a living manger scene. The children play everything from Mary and Joseph to the animals. They dress up in different costumes and then switch it up. Last night’s lamb becomes a wise man the next night. That’s their Christmas card to the neighborhood and all those who drive by.

But spirituality also includes the inner lives and God’s guidance for the day. I get up early to jog about five miles every morning. When I come home, I wake everyone up. Janet fixes breakfast and we read some Scriptures together. Then we also share a bit about what’s happening that day for each of us and pray. This takes only about fifteen minutes and works for us currently. When changes come and something doesn’t work anymore, we’ll need to try something else.

Do Something Really Crazy

One time while eating at McDonald’s, Superman entered. Here’s this short guy, bald with a big mustache, in a Superman costume. His wife arrived beside him as Wonder Woman. And then their two boys came alongside as Batman and Robin. A little boy walked up to them with big eyes and said, “I just knew you ate here.”

I had to know what’s going on as this was April, not Halloween. When I asked, the man replied, “Well, we were downtown earlier and passed a costume shop. We noticed cheap rental prices this time of year. We went in for fun to try some on and decided to rent them. We’ve had the most wonderful time. I work as a custodian in maintenance at the hospital. I’m also a Christian. We wondered who would enjoy seeing us in these costumes the most? We decided the kids in the pediatric wing of the hospital. So, we visited all the sick kids. We went to bed by bed. They were so excited. One of the boys asked me, ‘Superman, can you make me well?’ I told him, ‘No, I can’t but I can pray for you. God can make you well.’”

Share Your Own Fun or Crazy Ideas

 Quality family life may take work but it’s worth the effort of planning and thought. And it can be fun. Contrary to popular belief, Christian family life is not boring. I’m sure your family has done lots of special or exciting things too, even something crazy. Leave comments below of what you’ve done, so others can glean creative ideas.

Stephen Bly

Copyright©1993

Family Doing Something Crazy Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay
Family Vacation Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay
Spiritual Life Image by Karina Manzela KarinaManzela from Pixabay

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“Get Your Family to Do Something Crazy” audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly and Janet Chester Bly. Fun ways to build quality family life. Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series. 

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