4 Forgiveness Important Facts & Audio Podcast

WHY IS FORGIVENESS IMPORTANT?

Fill in the blanks. I still can’t forgive _____ for the time they _____.  Does a name come to mind? If so, this message makes working on forgiveness important for you.

Five Reasons To Forgive

Forgiveness is important for the offender’s sake. In a marriage, it’s for your mate’s sake. God has given you and me unlimited opportunities to be forgiven. We keep blowing it, making mistakes. He gives us new chances to start all over again, to get right with Him. Others need that opportunity too.

Forgive for your own sake. Lack of forgiveness leads to bitterness which destroys us. Think of the lady mentioned above who didn’t forgive her mother-in-law for seventeen years. Who do you think has been hurt most? I’m not sure, but it’s at least even.

Forgive for God’s sake. The Scriptures say we have to do it, whether we feel like it or not. We’re commanded to forgive. It’s our duty. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:32, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Forgive for your witness’ sake. If it’s your desire to share your faith, tell others about Jesus Christ, then forgive. If it’s your purpose to share your faith with your neighbors and friends, lack of forgiveness completely weakens your witness and discipleship.

Forgive for other people’s sake. Those on the periphery of your situation suffer unintended consequences too. For instance, if a spouse isn’t forgiven, how does that affect the children’s health, life at school, relationships to you and other kids? What does that model for their own future marriage? Unforgiveness affects more than you and the offender.

Consider These Forgiveness Facts

Fact 1  Forgiveness does not always require confession and repentance first. Sometimes we wait to forgive until they come to us and ask for it. We want them to come and say, “I’ll never, ever do that again.” Of course, that would be ideal. We long to hear, “I was wrong and I’m sorry. I made a mistake.” But you don’t have to wait for that in order to be a forgiving person.

On minor offenses, it’s a bit easier to overlook them. If a neighbor backs out of his driveway and doesn’t see you, but you have to swerve and hit a garbage can to miss him, that might not be hard to forgive without accosting him. But we can forgive big things before a confession too.

Jesus looked down at the Roman soldiers around the cross and prayed, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

These people never once looked up at Jesus and said, “I’m sorry for crucifying you. We will never, ever let something like this happen again.” As far as we know, they had no remorse in their hearts. Yet, Jesus offered them forgiveness. There are times in your life when you can offer forgiveness before it’s even asked for.

Fact 2 Some offenses require repeated forgiveness. Jesus’ disciples asked if they must forgive as much as seven times, the common rule of the day. He replied, “I tell you forgive up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21,22). In other words, keep on forgiving.

Suppose you’ve got a sore toe, one that’s sprained or broken, and you’re on the sidewalk visiting with people. And a kid comes down the sidewalk on a skateboard. You step back to let him pass by and he sways a bit and about loses balance, then straightens and rides right over your bad toe. Crunch! And you’re hopping around, tears running down your cheeks, and he runs over to apologize, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” And you say with gritted teeth, “It’s all right.” And he goes on his way.

You keep talking while watching the kid. He circles around and gets back on the sidewalk headed your way again. You back way off the sidewalk, but he manages to strike your toe once more. He hops right off with great chagrin and repeats his mantra, “I’m so sorry.”  This time when the kid wheels away, you stare at him as he makes a wider loop and lands on the same sidewalk towards your direction. This time you go behind a fence in the flower beds. The kid hits the curve, flies up in the air, and though you jump out of the way he lands headfirst on your sore toe. Now, you’re screaming for 9-1-1. And he still says, “I’m sorry! Would you forgive me?”

Jesus said, “Forgive 490 times!” That pesky kid is what He’s talking about. And that brings up a lot of questions. For instance, perhaps you could get steel-capped shoes or move to a different location. There may be some responses that prevent constant hurt.

Fact 3  Forgiveness begins in the heart.  Jesus said, “So shall my heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). He has the absolute right to say that because of all He has done for each of us.

We tend to compartmentalize our affections. We believe we have just so much of each affection. Once we use it up, it’s gone. We say things like, “I just don’t have any love left for him anymore.” It’s as if we only have 900 bits of love and when we use them up, that’s it. We also say, “I have run out of and lost all hope.” And it’s the same with forgiveness. “I can’t find forgiveness for her/him anymore.”

Jesus indicated that as long as you’ve got a heart, you have the capacity to forgive. And ask Him for help. He can empower you to generate forgiveness needed for any situation. Forgiveness begins with a decision of the will. You decide whether to forgive or not. You don’t wait for the feeling to click on like some kind of forgiveness light.

Fact 4 Forgiveness is very tough but it’s worth the work. Life without forgiveness is a miserable condition. You know that. If you have someone you can’t forgive, you know how wretched that has made you. If someone you know and love can’t forgive you, that’s distressing too. You may wish you could go back before that inciting event happened for a do-over when everything seemed right between you.

However, sometimes we live with the pain of only a partially forgiven relationship. That is, you and I can do everything on our part, but it takes two to mend a relationship. Perhaps we offered forgiveness and they refused to accept it. We confess our faults and sins, and we change our ways, and they still don’t give us mercy or pardon. Release them to God and move on.

Stephen Bly

Copyright©1993

Forgiven Box People With Rose Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
Reaching Out Box People with Heart Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
Jesus Carrying Cross Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay

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Full “How to Forgive Those You Love” audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly. Copyright©1993. Recorded at Cannon Beach Conference Center Marriage Retreat, Cannon Beach, Oregon. Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series. 

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