Finding Another Way to Say “I Love You”
Some people say, “I love you” a lot. That’s how they express and want to receive love. If you’re like that and your mate rarely says the words, you probably spend a lot of time wondering, “Do you really love me?” Because you want to hear those crucial words. But there’s always another way to say “I love you.”
In Philippians 1:9, Paul says, “And this I pray that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment.”
Paul writes this to the most loving church he ever started and served. They supported Paul generously with their gifts. Historians relate Paul wanted to retired there and even be buried there. Yet, he states he hopes their love will grow more and more.
Growing a Marriage
Love can expand at any stage of a relationship. That applies to married life. This can also be said to people who already love a lot. Let’s explore other ways to show love. There’s always another way to say “I love you.” My friend from North Carolina, Gary Chapman, talks about “love languages.” I want to add a couple of our own.
The Original Five
You can whisper or shout or write, “I love you.”
You can also express love through gifts. That means something unexpected. If you think gifts at Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries say it all, let me tell you, that’s nothing special. If you don’t give your mate anything, you’re in big trouble. But it’s those surprise gifts that most express love.
A third way to show love–uninterrupted time. For instance, that can be when you really listen to what they need to say. Acts of service provide a fourth means of extending love. When you do menial or above and beyond things for other people or your mate, you help them feel loved. A fifth way is through touch, such as a snuggle or holding hands, a kiss or sensual contact.
Two More Ways
Other ways to show love include sharing your mate’s adventures, participating in what your mate wants to do, even though it may not rate high on your interest list. And demonstrating uncompromising loyalty in all circumstances.
My wife Janet was a trooper this year. Not only did she wear her boots often, but she traveled with me the first week of December to Las Vegas, Nevada, which is not a place she likes to go at all. She told me that being surrounded by a bunch of rowdy cowboys for three days didn’t sound like her idea of having fun. But I sure got a good deal on those tickets. So, she sat with me through several full days of the National Finals Rodeo. That’s a way of saying, “I love you,” and I appreciated that.
But also, she got a surprise, something neither of us expected. You see, concurrently with that National Finals Rodeo, you can survey the fairgrounds filled with hundreds of booths, with folks from all over the country selling all kinds of western related wares and clothing. Janet found some scarves and earrings and I purchased stuff too. We almost came that close to buying a rocking, bucking bull for our newborn grandson, Zachary.
Loyalty Proves Love
Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6, Mark 10:9).
Now, loyalty means you don’t let that happen. With uncompromising loyalty, you cannot imagine the one person without the other. They come together as a set.
While speaking to some churches in south Florida, the other speakers and I ate lunch in a local restaurant. As we visited, I like to look at people as they come in and imagine their life stories.
Loyalty Example
An elderly couple entered and slowly crossed the floor to a table. The gentleman had on a light-colored suit, a little black bow tie, and shiny, patent leather shoes. His wife wore a beautiful dress with pearl necklace. He also pushed a walker and she held onto his arm. When they got to the edge of the table, she stopped and waited as he parked his walker. Then he came over and held her chair as she sat down before he returned to his seat.
I listened out of the corner of my ear as the waitress bounced up. “Well, how are you today? My, don’t you look handsome!” she said. And his wife turned. “Yes he does.” They chatted a little more then the husband looked up. “Today is our anniversary.” And the waitress said, “Oh, that’s wonderful. How many years?” “Sixty-three and she gets better looking every year!” His wife blushed a smile. The waitress took their order and left.
I kept watching them during the meal. They looked after each other. The lady reached over and took the red linen napkin and wiped crumbs off his face. They finished their meal and relaxed a while. Finally, he got up first and came around. She waited as I’m sure she’d done for years for him to pull the chair. She stood and took him by the arm. They shuffled toward the cash register.
Then they stopped in the middle of the lobby, probably to rest. But he reached around with his gnarled hand and patted her on the bottom. And she said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, “Now, you cut that out!” Then, they scooted up to pay the same waitress. She smiled and said, “I hope you two have a good year.” “Oh, I’m sure we will, honey,” the wife said. “I’m sure we will.”
The Look of Loyalty
That’s what loyalty looks like after sixty-three years. Can’t imagine one without the other.
There are so many different ways to say “I love you.” Maybe you’ve ignored trying or don’t think you need to be concerned. Or you could be inspired by God’s Spirit to deepen your devotion. Strengthen a weakness. Refresh those old habits and find another special, new way to say, “I love you more and more.”
Stephen Bly
Circa 1990
Couple Holding Hands Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash.com
Couple Headed to Adventure Photo by Aarom Ore on Unsplash.com
Elderly Couple on Bench Photo by Simon Godfrey on Unsplash
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“New Life for Old Love” audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly and his wife, Janet Chester Bly. Recorded in Lake Jackson, Texas, 1990. Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series.
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