Save Your Family. Get a Jesus Heart.
Is your family full of stress? Is there one member in particular who drives you crazy? Have you been praying for God to change them? Here’s a secret. If you’re concerned about family peace, happiness, and wholeness, start with a good foundation. Redesign your heart into a Jesus heart.
I know you probably want someone else to be fixed instead. But the basic spiritual principle always centers on, begin with you. It’s a self-help heart matter. What does that mean?
Colossians 3:12 states, “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
You’re not born with a heart like this. In fact, just the opposite. And these qualities don’t come easy. But Paul said, “Put these qualities on. Clothe yourself with them. Get your heart redesigned.” The heart is the source of motives, the seat of passion, the center of thought, and the spring of conscience. A Jesus kind of heart enables you to get through all sorts of difficult situations, with family, with life.
What’s A Jesus Heart?
Colossians provides the signs. Jesus had a heart of compassion—instant help for the helpless with tender mercies. Jesus showed kindness, which is goodness combined with true concern. He truly wanted to help others and epitomized humility with a proper view of who He was. He didn’t worry about making a good impression. With his gentle heart He knew the right and wrong time to be angry. He exhibited patience—dealing with human limitations without letting it drive Him to cynicism or despair. He dealt with suffering quietly. How to apply these to your life? Here’s some helpful clues.
Question every natural reaction.
Sometimes you justify your responses by saying you’re only doing what comes naturally. When you get upset, you raise your voice or scream. But by nature, we’re all sinful people. Maybe that’s the wrong way.
Quit playing to the crowd.
Sometimes your reactions come because other people expect you to be that way. And so you give them what they expect. You get together every Friday with the other ladies in the neighborhood and they expect you to tell them what that young divorcee next door is doing. So, you play to the crowd. But that’s not exhibiting a Jesus kind of heart.
Quickly act on the changes God enacts in your life.
Let those changes take place. For instance, if you are Mr. Macho, you can control every situation and never shed a tear. You’re the stoic who handles any kind of heartache. But then, God changes your heart. You’re sitting there watching a movie about a creature from outer space named E.T. As the movie nears the end, tears flow and you try hard to stay Mr. Macho. Instead, let them slide down. God is instilling compassion. Don’t fight it.
Bear with one another.
Put up with with family member imperfections, and especially in fellow believers. The Greek word for bear contains four parts. It means to receive, take up, bear, and endure. That could be progressive steps.
To receive means to instantly accept them, their looks, speech, and actions. Make them feel at home in your presence. Risk opening up your heart. That’s easier to do with folks who look just like you, who have your language and culture.
Whenever possible, take up their cause and their side. Walk with them. See things from their point of view. To be with them together, publicly count yourself among them. Support them, even if their passion might not be parallel to yours. Endure their successes and failures. No matter what, put up with them, even if they don’t put up with you.
Forgive each other.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
To have a Jesus kind of heart, to strengthen family bonds, forgiveness for grievances needs to dominate your daily life. Refuse to hold onto grudges. Stop complaining.
Show love.
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14).
Wear love on your shirtsleeve. To put on means to clothe. You’re commanded to love and not wait for that lovin’ feeling. Ask yourself, “How would I act with this one who’s offended me if I were really loving them?” Then, do that thing. Love must be seen.
True love is doing good for other people with no thought of anything in return.
I have witnessed one of the most loving deeds done on the face of the earth. And it’s done by mothers changing diapers, especially really gross, dirty ones. That’s the most loving deed I can think of. And once in a while, fathers do it, if they have to. That little one gives nothing back in return, not even cooperation. And yet the mother does it out of love. She’ll keep doing it as long as she needs to. That’s what showing love is all about. Jesus modeled it by washing His disciples’ feet. What could you do?
Take His peace.
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15).
Let the peace of Christ put you at peace with ornery, annoying people. Practice finding something to be thankful for about them.
You have peace with God (Romans 1:5) because of your faith. You also need the peace of Christ. He leaves this supernaturally with you, not as the world gives it, and not like anything else known. You need to receive it and let that rule in your being. Every day in your relationships, allow the peace of Christ to be always present, to rule every day, at all times. This is your responsibility and privilege as a member of Christ’s family. It’s also your calling.
How can you do that?
First, get involved in conflict. When things go well, you wouldn’t recognize genuine peace. But in the midst of turmoil, you know peace when you experience it. Jesus knew you’d go through all sorts of troubles. Life is tough. But He offers His peace. He’s right there with you in the midst of hard times. It helps to deal with your past, your present, and your future. Give them, release them to the Lord.
Your Past
Some things in your past may prevent your experiencing Christ’s peace.
Think of five past events or actions you’d really like to delete. That may be five mistakes or relationships that you blew. Write it down. Verbally name and explain each one to the Lord. Confess any fault on your part. Draw a line in the dirt and proclaim, “From this point forward, those five things are not going to rob me of the power of His peace.” He will not bring them up to you again, so neither should you. Sometimes folks use memorial rocks to signify a turning point, a special moment. Put your stones in a significant place.
Your Present
Commit your days to Him. Plan to do things, but seek His constant approval. Make your To Do List open to His changes, if He wanted to. Give Him your present to find His peace.
And Your Future
You can be robbed of peace when you fear the future. For instance, you may be afraid of where God will lead you. And because of that, you’re not at ease with Him. Any time you hear about a missionary going out in the jungle among headhunters and living in huts for years, with nothing but a cup of rice every day, do you think, Lord, I’ll do anything but that.
What are the potential situations that make you shudder when it comes to fully trusting God? What if He would lead you here or ask you to go there or do this? Find His peace about what’s up ahead. Trust Him with your life.
Be thankful.
Get hooked on giving thanks. Make thanksgiving a state of mind. Be conscious of the many benefits that come from God. Giving thanks affects your spirit too, filling you in your depths with gladness. It’s part of delighting in the Lord.
Spend some time when you don’t ask God for anything. Thank Him for all the great things He did that day. Be conscious of what God did in little things, if you can’t think of something huge.
Verbalize your thanks to others around you, at home, school, or on the job. Tell God in the moment, “Lord, I really enjoyed that!” In fact, if you don’t have delight, it’s kind of a mindless a, b, c, and d exercise. But He wants the praise of your lips and the joy of your heart in what He’s done.
Let God’s Word vibrate within you.
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16).
WheLet the Word of God settle in your inner life and control your every thought. Fill yourself with wisdom. Sing about it for encouragement and remembering what Christ taught! I can tell if a person has the Word of God dwelling richly within them.
Three Signs
Apply these to yourself. First, compare the newness of your Bible to how worn out it is. If you have a 35-year-old Bible or valuable antique in immaculate condition, you aren’t letting the Word of God dig down deep within you. Look at the frayed corners of the pages, the underlining and highlighting, as well as if the beautiful leather’s wearing out.
Second, how much do you put into songs about the Lord and the Christian life? When the Word of God richly lives within you, it bubbles out in hearty singing. You exude a grace-filled life.
Third, look at those around you, your children and family or whoever’s close to you at work. Does God’s Word seem to overflow into their lives too? If it’s richly dwelling within you, it can’t help affect those up close and personal.
Dedicate your speech to the Lord.
Paul poses one more admonition.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17).
Dedicate your every word and act to the Lord. Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, as His representative. Consciously acknowledge His presence with you. Here are some handles that have helped me do this.
Before you say anything else, when caught up in the midst of responding to a tough situation, say this first, “As Jesus would say …”
Suppose you’re sitting in the house and you hear a car come up the driveway and then a crunch! After that, a scream and a slammed door. You hear your wife, husband, son or daughter’s footsteps padding across the driveway. The door opens and you hear a sheepish, “I did it again. I ran into the garage.”
And you respond, “As Jesus would say … did you get hurt?”
See how that suddenly controls your speech? It’s the same thing with your actions.
Dedicate all deeds to Jesus
Suppose you’re playing in a golf tournament and you’re doing quite well. You’re about to win the tournament on the eighteenth green and set up the final three-foot putt. So you plumb line the putt with your held up putter. You study the green, the breeze, the blades of grass. You pick up little twigs and pebbles in the way, adjust your stance, and form your grip. And you relax with a deep breath before you stroke the ball.
And just before the ball reaches the hole, it jumps sideways and you miss. In the heat of the moment, as you consider an appropriate response, such as what to do with your putter, you look around at the crowd, and then you say, “I would like to dedicate the following act to the Lord Jesus Christ.”
What would you do? You’d probably go over and congratulate the winner.
Take Jesus with you wherever you go.
Whenever I open the door, I let Him go through first. It might be a little thing, but it reminds me He’s with me. You’d be surprised when you remember He’s with you how many more things you do according to His will.
Take Jesus along with you. Dedicate every action to Him. But how does this help family life?
When your heart’s been redesigned, forgiveness dominates your life. You wear love on your sleeve. You’re hooked on giving thanks. God’s Word lives vibrantly within you. And you dedicate every word and action to the Lord.
Now, does your getting a Jesus heart cure every marriage and family problem? No, it doesn’t. But it sets the arena for working things out, and provides a foundation for family happiness. “Lord, open my eyes to see and hear You and how You want me to respond in each situation today.”
Stephen Bly
Copyright 1984
Family Hands Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay
Jesus Heart Image by James Chan from Pixabay
Memorial Rocks Stacked Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay
Golf Green Image by Prawny from Pixabay
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“Getting A Jesus Heart” audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly. Your family challenges, issues, and problems improve when you get a Jesus heart. Recorded at Fillmore Bible Church, Fillmore, California, 1984. Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series.
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