Purpose and Plans for Family Privacy
God designed that we live in families. But that doesn’t mean we should never be alone. Times of planned family privacy can meet crucial needs.
Those Who Most Need Privacy
1. Mothers with young children, especially pre-school kids.
Jesus said in Mark 6:31, “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest awhile.”
This is true for worn out disciples and frazzled mothers. Get off alone for a while. Find some rest.
2. Anyone facing life-changing decisions.
Elijah demonstrated the power of God, then got chased across the country by Queen Jezebel. Fearing for his life, he hid in a cave.
In Acts, after miraculously being delivered out of prison, after all the church prayed for him, Peter assured everyone he was okay. But now he searched for a hideaway to be by himself. It was time to hide.
Like Elijah and Peter, sometimes in every family we need privacy, a breather from pressures or confrontations to assess decisions, to consider the next move, to make choices.
3. Kids in big families or small houses.
Paul was in Rome and being tried for his faith and he wrote to Timothy, “Timothy, pick up Mark and come before winter. I miss you. I don’t want to be alone.”
Everyone, even kids, need times to be alone enough to get lonely. We realize how much we need people in the midst of planned family privacy.
4. Folks with intense, crisis-centered jobs or that push relationships with people.
Sometimes we need to be alone to pray. Certainly, the Scriptures tell us a lot about praying together. The Lord’s Prayer, of course, provides a communal prayer for the church family provided by Jesus. But He also emphasized times to pray alone. When Jesus finished feeding the multitude, He crossed the Sea of Galilee and hiked into the mountains in privacy to pray.
And so did Daniel in the Old Testament. After a hard day at work as a government official, he climbed on top the house alone to pray.
5. All teens between the ages of 13-17 years.
Privacy means having time absolutely alone, away from family, with no one around. Teens need space as much as younger kids and adults. For instance, they need to be alone sometimes just to daydream. They might think through “What if . . .?” Or “What if things were different?” Or “What if I decide to do this or that?” This could stir creativity or potential talents.
Make Privacy Work in Your Home
Here are some clues for providing your own family privacy.
First of all, every member, whatever the age, needs a place of their own. It’s a wonderful luxury to have their own room. But how about their own chair? Or a corner of the room?
My treehouse provided the best place of privacy I ever had as a kid. Nobody went there but me. But also, it might be alone on a walk or out on a beach. Where could that special private place be?
Plan Isolation
Second, isolation doesn’t just happen. Very few can say, “Oh, everyone’s gone. Here I am all alone.” Some planning required for most moments of family privacy. Maybe a half-hour a day or week or month or year. Whatever it is, private time is not selfish or wasted time.
Jesus spent forty necessary days in the wilderness all alone. Paul spent crucial years of preparation out in the desert before his ministry began. We need to plan times of privacy.
Shut Out the World
Third, when we get to those places of privacy, we need to shut out the world. Shut the door, unplug the phone, have someone watch the kids, mask the noise if that’s what it takes and climb high on top some hill. Make sure you’re really alone.
Record It All
And if you want to get the most out of your private time, write down all your dreams, ideas, musings, and include your questions and struggles in a simple notebook, journal, or diary. Or speak it into an audio recorder.
Family, God’s Idea
God invented families for a purpose. Family life is meant to teach us how to love people. If you think, “My family is not perfect.” You’re right. That’s the only kind of people there are.
Family life helps us grow in our relationship with God and gives us lots of opportunities to practice biblical truth. It also potentially provides abundant living. To achieve the best benefits of family life, build in the right amount of individual privacy.
Stephen Bly
Copyright 1984
Family Needing Space Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Crowd of Children Image by Prawny from Pixabay
Family Tree HouseImage by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
Diary of Dreams Image by Katarzyna from Pixabay
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“Planning Family Privacy” audio podcast by award-winning western author Stephen Bly. Recorded at Fillmore Bible Church, Fillmore, California, 1984. Sponsored by BlyBooks.com Legacy Series.
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