Tag: family life

  • A Family Project

    A Family Project

    A Family Project: Finishing Dad’s Novel

    My husband, Stephen Bly, hated half-done jobs. He couldn’t stand a ‘to do’ list without immediate action. One big task for 2011: complete his novel, Stuart Brannon: The Final Shot. When he passed away on June 9th, 2011, my sons said to me, “Let’s finish that book.” They suggested we do it as a family project.

    The idea grew. They had their dad’s creativity and wit. They’d collectively impart their father’s input. I also quickly discovered the value of their constant feedback and encouragement. I couldn’t do it without them.

    How Family Project Began

    The Center Point Thorndike Press editor gave us a four-month extension. This incomplete project became a family affair. Can a committee write a novel? We had the passion to find out.

    Steve left us one completed chapter, a synopsis (with no suggested ending), and lots of character names. We carefully studied these details. “It reads more like a mystery than a western,” we four surmised.

    This book must resonate like a Stephen Bly novel and resemble the early Stuart Brannon Series. Yet, this story’s different. Brannon’s older. He struggles to fit into the 20th Century. He also grapples with the game of golf on behalf of a celebrity charity tournament.

    The Family Process

    We immersed ourselves in the original 6 books of the series. Then, we scanned other Stephen Bly novels for Stuart Brannon mentions. I scoured Steve’s resources for a basic grounding in the western world he knew so well. I also skimmed our fiction writing books for tips and printed out excerpts for the sons. We finally decided to focus our main theme on fighting for justice, truth and mercy as we met weekly for the family project to brainstorm and critique.

    Starting with a cluster diagram of all the known factors, spirited discussions stirred debate as well as consensus. We assigned each other research topics, then talked through and roughed out random scenes. After drafting an outline, listing plot points gave direction for which scenes to create next. We tried to include as much of Steve’s writings as we could.

    Keeping Project Focus

    To keep the constant additions discernable, I used a different color type each week that turned into a rainbow manuscript. Even with this trick and the outline, the key challenge remained to keep the story’s timeline straight. Then I took a trip to the Oregon coast, to discover and experience what Steve knew about the locale and we didn’t. This added much needed color and revealed critical mistakes.

    The deadline loomed as we aimed for 75,000 words. I struggled to eke out 2,000 words daily. When Aaron devised an adventure scene and Mike produced the golf tourney and poker game settings, I knew we’d hit the target count.

    After we actually exceeded our goal, we deleted scenes and characters that didn’t move the plot. This tightened the action and made it better. The last days and hours filled with frantic attempts to get this family project as perfect as possible.

    At 10:36 a.m. on November 1st, 2011, son Mike emailed me, “Well? Ready to push ‘send’?” At 11:46 a.m., I did. We finished Steve’s last undone earthly task.

    Janet Chester Bly
    Copyright©2012

  • When Bad Things Happen to Those You Love

    When Bad Things Happen to Those You Love

    When Bad Things Happen to Those You Love

    As if she didn’t have enough bad things happen. Years of wealth and luxury, but now she had only the dress on her back. A reputation and status of being one of the country’s leading ladies, however now she roamed garbage dumps for a meal. Her large, healthy family had been the pride of her life, but now childless. 

    And her healthy, vibrant, dynamic husband turned into a pitiful, broken down, sore infested old man. More than enough for any gal to handle. On top of that, her husband was a religious fanatic who sat around wondering what God tried to tell him through all this.

    Mrs. Job said: “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9) 

    What should we do when bad things happen to those we love? 

    SEVEN REASONS BAD THINGS HAPPEN 

    1. Sometimes they come by divine appointment.

    Job faced the outcome of spiritual warfare. That conflict continues in our day. There’s a sense in which every bad event is ruled over by God, since He reigns sovereign over all things. But when we seek, we can discover several more immediate causes. 

    NATURAL CATASTROPHES

    • Sometimes bad things happen through natural catastrophes.

    The earth quakes, volcanoes erupt, waves pound, fires jump creeks, bridges collapse, plagues surge across a nation. We do not live in a perfectly safe world. The Bible says that rebellion against God caused the world’s present upheaval. Still, we look for explanations.

    If God used natural disasters to eradicate sin, who would be left? He did that once and only eight survived the flood on Noah’s ark. The tower in Siloam fell as one of the many tragedies possible in a sin-tainted world.

     THE WORLD’S SYSTEM

    • Sometimes bad things happen because of trials and tribulation. 

    The tenor of society, the flow of civilization, the dominating ideas of the world’s system oppose God’s plan for His people. The collision of the wills of truth and lies produce tragic consequences.  

              Make a stand for good. March to support a biblical position. Protest for what you believe is right. You’ll likely find fervent, sometimes vicious opponents. This world produces much trouble.   

    FOOLISHNESS, GREED, AND BLOWING IT 

    • Bad things happen because of stupid actions. 

    By example, King Hezekiah caused the suffering devastation of Babylonian plunder for a future generation by his lack of discretion and wisdom (2 Kings 20). 

    • Because people give Satan an entry.

    Judas had a problem with greed, which led to betraying Jesus. Judas gave Satan direct control of his life (Luke 22). 

    • The result from personal sin.

    The man near the pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem had a crippling disease for thirty-eight years. Jesus healed him, then presented a challenge: “Do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse may befall you” (John 5:14).

              An alcoholic ruins his liver. A prostitute suffers from a venereal disease. Habitual gamblers face bankruptcy.

    BEING A WITNESS 

    • Bad things sometimes happen when talking about Jesus.

    Peter and John received a stern warning. Then they got flogged when they disobeyed. 

    “We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and behold, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us” (Acts 5:28,40).

    WHAT TO DO WHEN THOSE YOU LOVE FACE BAD TIMES

     First, stand by them.  

    “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).  

    Second, practice being a kind listener. 

    “But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger,” James advises (1:19). 

    Third, continue to show love. 

    “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). 

    Fourth, seek God’s counsel together. 

    “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).  

    MORE SUGGESTED ACTIONS WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN  

    Fifth, help them face responsibility. 

    “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). 

    “Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1). 

    Sixth, review God’s past faithfulness, provisions, and blessings. 

    Some things have gone right. Enjoy the loving memories and wonderful surprises, and re-live special events. 

    “When I pondered to understand this, it was troublesome in my sight, until I came into the sanctuary of God. Then I perceived their end” (Psalm 73:16,17). 

    When he grasped the long-range view of life, his heart and mind quieted in understanding.

    Seventh, chart together new goals and dreams. 

    Unexpected situations may crush certain plans made. Look for new opportunities. 

    GIVE GOD TIME 

    Eighth, allow God time to work His best result. 

    Some bad things take time to assess. God told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

    But that insight surfaced only after much pleading, praying, and questioning on Paul’s part. Many of life’s worst times have no easy quick-fix solutions or explanations.  

    CONCLUSION 

    Bad things do happen. But no one should face them alone. The message of Jesus, Emmanuel, God is with us! “In the world you have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!” 

    Hallelujah! Amen & Amen.

    Stephen Bly signature

    Stephen Bly

    Circa 1990 

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    CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO SPOTIFY “When Bad Things Happen” Stephen Bly PODCAST:

  • Every Child Deserves to Know

    Every Child Deserves to Know

    Every Child Deserves to Know

    Little children remain the most helpless of all God’s creatures. Every child deserves a mom, a dad, a teacher. Every skill on this earth has to be learned, from birth to death. They need someone to care for them as babes, then hold their hands and lead them as toddlers, till they finally walk on their own.

    Perhaps it’s your job to show them how to sit blocks one upon another. The only thing a child knows for sure is how to knock them down. Destruction seems built into children—part of the sin nature, I’m sure. But the most crucial times come in a lifestyle choice, an attitude, a way of doing things right. There’s also a foundation of facts to know. Every child deserves to know certain truths.

    God is real, alive, and personal.

      Children come with imagination, creativity, and some have make-believe friends. The teddy bear can seem personal. Can to be talked to. On the other hand, there are a lot of live and real things such as tall, growing green trees that aren’t personal at all. Children deserve to know the difference.

      Every child deserves someone who loves them.

      Maybe it’s Mommy or Daddy, or a grandparent or guardian, who provides a true love that doesn’t give up. They need to learn about love through actions, as well as words. And that grasp makes it easier to believe a Heavenly Father loves them.

      Unfortunately, the world’s full of troubles.

      We might prefer to isolate kids from this truth . And, of course, we try to protect them. But we can’t hold on to them forever. They’ll venture out where it can be harsh and cruel. That’s a part of even an abundant life. If we never let them fail, or struggle, or face challenges, they won’t know how to respond.

      Another important truth: Jesus has overcome the world.

      Tough stuff doesn’t always go away. But Jesus will walk them through it. Because He was triumphant on the cross and over the tomb, by rising back to life, there’s victory for all, including a child. Those little ones deserve to learn, as soon as they’re able, that Jesus is always with them.

      The Bible is completely reliable.

      As they grow up, they begin to read story books. As soon as they’re able to understand, they need to be told, the Bible is different than every other book. In these pages is the truth about God. They need to learn that not only because you tell them, but because you act upon the Word. It guides you along your way.

      Every child deserves to know the best secret: obedience to God leads to a fulfilled life.

      That’s why they learn obedience in small things now. Not just because you’re bigger, tougher, or meaner, but because this gives them streets smarts for doing life. That’s why we teach them to learn to follow certain life rules young. Eventually, not only will we please Him, but also satisfy our own best and highest desires.

      Life with Jesus is full of adventure.

      Our heavenly Father is a God of unexpected surprises. He is, as C.S. Lewis in the Narnia Tales says, “a wild lion.” That is, you never can know for sure what He’s going to do, because He has His own way of doing things, even in how He answers our prayers. He brings blessings, such as special people into our lives. He’s already there in the future planning something for you and for our children. They deserve to know they don’t need to be afraid, but to look forward to adventures.

      Every child deserves a family.

      Father and mother, brothers and sisters, Grandma and Grandpa are part of the unit of a God-given family. God designed society that way. He has a lot of lessons to teach. In a family we learn to give and receive forgiveness, and how to really love by getting up close and personal with others.

      What is life? For one thing, it’s a prep school for eternity.

      Maybe it’s the death of a pet or a grandparent. As soon as they’re able to recognize life here is short and terminal, they deserve to realize God has that plan in mind.

        Yes, there’s something in us that says we ought to live forever. But life here is just a training ground. We’re given some years to get ready for heaven. So, God stuck us in a family of some sort, to learn how to love, how to forgive. See if we choose to follow Him and know Him. If so, we win forever. And that’s what life’s about.

        They deserve to know God made them that way.

        A kid’s song says, “I’m something special!” And it’s true. They’re important, just as they are. God made them and He doesn’t make any junk. If they’re tall or short, if they have a big nose, there are no mistakes. Whatever talents or abilities, they need to learn to use what God’s given them.

        Finally, God will always hear them.

        Nobody can pray too much, whether young or old. Little ones deserve to know God cares about everything. Any time they want to pray, they should.

        No one can force a child to believe in God or Jesus. Certainly, I would lead the pack if I could make my children become Christians. But I can’t. That’s the work of the Holy Spirit and God in their lives. They have to come to that place of confessing Him on their own. But I can prepare the environment, work up the fallow ground, get the soil ready for good seed to be planted. I can teach them lots of things, by saying the words and showing the actions.

        And when all of this is done, I can relax and know I’ve done my part. I can trust God for His.

        Amen and Amen!

        Stephen Bly

        1st Presbyterian Church, Fillmore, California

        December 30, 1979

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        “Every Baby Ought to Know” AUDIO PODCAST by Stephen Bly:

      1. Keep Up the Corners

        Keep Up the Corners

        Keep Up the Cattle Drive Corners with Stephen Bly Audio Podcast

        An old-time cowboy scratched out some notes in a journal as he worked on a big cattle drive from south Texas to the Kansas railheads in the 1870s. Often he mentioned how the trail boss kept after them to “keep up the corners.” A search through the book finally uncovered what that might mean.

        Keeping Up Corners 
        This phrase meant to keep the cattle drive herd moving at a reasonable and sustainable pace. The strongest cattle did not march over or just trot off and leave the weaker ones. The cowboys let the cattle spread out enough so not to get overheated but bunched up enough not to widen to an uncontainable size.

        KEEP UP THE CATTLE DRIVE CORNERS

        It was important that the entire herd grazed at a speed and in a manner that brought them together. So, when the boss shouted, “Keep up the corners!”, it was a signal to tighten control. Make sure the cows moved in a way best for all concerned.

        Now it Seems to Me 

        From time to time someone ought to shout, “Tighten up the corners,” to you and me concerning our families. And according to the Bible, dads have a mighty important role.

        “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

        Part of that responsibility includes making sure the whole family grows spiritually. Understand your wife’s spiritual condition and make sure she has plenty of opportunity for worship and prayer, study and fellowship. She needs quiet times as well as the freedom to use her gifts, talents, and ministries given her from God.

        Keeping Up with the Kids Too 

        The same is also true for each of the children. The next step in the spiritual life of your three-year-old will be different than your eighteen-year-old. But they both need to continue to grow in the knowledge of the Lord and become the person He created them to be.

        We usually assume that if we’re moving along in the spiritual journey, the rest of the family will automatically go at our pace. Or if we drag our feet, they’ll stay back with us. Maybe we need from time to time to hear the Big Boss holler, “Keep up those corners!” Or its spiritual equivalent. And what do you think that might be?

        Stephen Bly

        Circa 1997

        Cattle Drive Image by Rizwan Gabru from Pixabay